Nobody can be trusted
I always had issues with trusting people, especially after Crystal broke up with me. I ended up closing myself so tightly, through all my drinking and hanging around certain people, that I didn't trust anyone at all. As you may or may not know, I recently started to speak to another one of my girlfriends. Everything was going amazingly and we grew very close in a short span of time. The only issue we had was that she's a Christian, or claims to be, but it seems more as if her parents simply just don't like me. I thought we could get passed this, but about a week ago, right before she went out with her family for her birthday, she spoke to her parents about us and the general decision came down to us not being able to talk to each other. Let me also remind you that throughout this time I told her things about me, and same about her, that I probably wouldn't have told anyone else. I also expressed to her how special she was to me. So we stopped talking. Tonight, I texted her out of pure luck and she ended up responding. We had a short discussion, maybe 5 messages, where I simply asked her a very important question- "Did you mean anything that you told me or do you think you meant anything?" Her response was short and sweet, of course-I think I did at least at the moment. I also asked her if she still thought about me and again, short and sweet-No, not really. So here I am, somewhat, where I began about 5 years ago-alone, broken, and on a verge of falling apart. Surprising thing is that we didn't even see each other. Yeah, that's how close we got in a span of maybe a month. What hurts a lot though is that I truly thought that I could trust her since she was always sweet and nice to me. She was the first girlfriend I had that treated me so well. She liked me a lot from the very beginning so this all just doesn't make any sense at all. I meant every word that I told her all those days and nights, but I guess it's a lot like that other saying-love can't go just one way. I don't want to do anything stupid and I have no intension of picking up drinking again, although I had some shots the other night and I did enjoy it. I'm just in a horrible mood. I can't sleep. My other friend is losing her cat and I'm sick with a cold. This isn't really a good way to start a week with two pick exams coming up. I feel like such an idiot because I opened up to someone I thought I could trust and now I'm fucked up in the head. I remember looking back and observing my old boss fall down hard, I guess it's just my turn to be in the slumps. Will everything be alright? Could be, but it doesn't really feel like it at the moment. I feel like I'm falling behind in school again and it's gonna be very difficult to catch up. And being that this is should be my last semester, it's not something that I want to experience. In the past I didn't really mind because I always felt that I had plenty of time, but now I don't. Imagine that this semester will be over within 2 months, even less. Sounds like plenty of time for some people, but in reality it's not at all. So, here I am again. I'm not quite sure what to do. I'm aware I have plenty of things to do for school, but I honestly can't focus well enough at this point. I'm sick and broken hearted. I'm in no way in a state of mind to do anything. I thought you could trust some people, but the honest truth is that you simply can't. It's a shame, but that's reality. "Reality. Oh, that bitch" Thank you for reading!
So I did the right thing, but now why do I feel nervous? It could be that I'm afraid that I might get sued. You see, the thing that I shouldn't have done was I kept visiting my ex-boss' calendar, but the thing that should be noted is that it's public to the world. It was set to be public to the world because when I was still his assistant, I needed access to his calendar to schedule appointments for him. When I left, I never told him about it, mostly because I thought it was his responsibility to close it. I told a client to let him know, not really the standard protocol, but I want to avoid him at all costs. So why would he sue me? Because he's just that type of guy and because I waited this long. But why wouldn't he sue me? Because I don't really have anything to be sued for. I wish I could just say that we just have to wait and see, but that doesn't really work with my anxiety. I could be just making a big deal out of it like that one other time I freaked out, but this time it's a little different since I'm dealing with this particular person. Well, anyway, I have to try to sleep since I have to wake up REALLY early, even though I might not actually get any sleep. Thank you for reading!
Why do I feel like crap? Could it be because I did something that maybe I shouldn't have? Well, I felt like crap before that, but bad mistakes tend to make things worse, so that does have something to do with the level of crappiness. Just to clarify, I do believe that I did the right thing without going against my integrity. Could it be because I'm not drinking enough water (health situation)? It could be, but that almost sounds a little minor. I look back at the past summer break and I notice that I didn't really do anything of much productive value. Over the summer I know I affected some people positively, but I don't feel that's really pushing me forward. I tried looking for jobs and yes there are jobs in my field, but it almost seems like nobody wants to hire. And any job leads I did get are in New York and I don't really want to drive to New York everyday. My social anxiety isn't getting much better, obviously. I still have my dreams, my major one is growing a successful business and I have every intension to do so. Could it be that I feel a little lonely? It could be, after all, it has been a while since I've really been with someone. I feel like I'm regurgitating the past and of course that's not really pushing me forward. Don't get me wrong, I do have those moments when I feel like I need someone there for me, but for the most part I feel content with the current relationship situation I am in. I keep having these dreams, visions, in my head, but then I realize that most likely they would never come into a reality. Even if they do, it probably won't last. I had my chance. For two years I felt like I was on the top of the world-beautiful girlfriend, close friends, and more. I feel like I'm regurgitating again, looking back at how great it was, instead of looking even in the present to try to make things better. I don't know. Don't get me wrong though. I know I'm not suicidal, I'm actually scared to even attempt, but I just want more. Maybe I should go out. Maybe I should go back to religion. Yeah, right. Like that would ever happen. I can't change who I am, I don't even want to, but I know I can change my situation to make things better. I just have to step out of my comfort zone. It sounds just too simple, right. I can do it, but then I feel like I can't. Why can't I just trust the public? I guess it's because if I open myself up, I can't retain enough of my guard and then I get hurt some how. I know money doesn't make a person happy, but it does help. Oh Maximus (computer), why can't I make money with you? So let me try to close on a good note...Well, I did learn about the recycle system. What else, what else? Oh, I learned a lot about web design concepts, that's a big thing for me. Thank you for reading!
Hacker VS Cracker
I knew the difference for a while, but recently, I've been watching a lot of hacker-themed movies, as well as researching, and I realized that the distinction between both has diminished. When you hear either of them, most of the time you think of the annoying person behind the computer who writes viruses or the person who wants to crash the Pentagon (cyberterrorist). Though these outlooks might be valid, it shows the level of ignorance we have as a society in the technology field. In brief, a hacker is the highly computer literate person behind the keyboard who searches and studies a system to further their knowledge and to help technology move forward. A cracker on the other hand is a highly computer literate peson behind the keyboard who studies a system to gather information about a system for malicious purposes. In general, the term hacking meant changing a programs code to change the functionality. This does leave room to combine both terms, but when hacking started, it was to further technology. It wasn't until crackers wanted to do bad things with that knowledge that we needed to clear up the two terms. For example, jailbreaking or hacking an iPhone is hacking because you're taking a great tool and wanting to further it's purpose, since it's locked, you open the system up. Now if you use this knowledge to start crashing iPhones, then it's at that point you are acting as a cracker. Just from the definition, it's really due to the alumni hackers that we have the technology we have today. Yes, there are certain hackers (more like crackers) who write those annoying viruses, but that's just a stereotype and does not apply to all hackers. Why do hackers write those viruses in the first place? The answer varies from hacker/cracker to hacker/cracker. Sometimes it's because of boredom, street credit, or revenge. While others it's for educational purposes. So the distinction all comes down to what they want to profit from that exploit-knowledge or material gain/power. Some examples. Here are some notorious hackers/crackers: Comex(Nicholas Allegra)-Created JailBreakMe.com Florian Rohrweck-Leaked G+ code GeoHot(George Hotz)-Started the whole iPhone jailbreak scene Cyanogen(Steve Kondik)-Worked with hacked Anroid devices Peter Hajas-Created MobileNotifier for the iPhone Dark Tangent(Jeff Moss)-Classical hacker/Ran underground boards Chris Putnam-Created an XSS to mod Facebook to look like MySpace Mudge(Peiter Zatko)-Classical hacker/Member of CDC and L0pht Sven Jaschan-NetSky Kevin Mitnick-Classical hacker/Proprietary software Fred Cohen-Classical hacker/first virus Robert Morris-Classical hacker/first worm Kevin Poulsen-Classical hacker/Caller 102 Napster(Shawn Fanning)/Sean Parker-Napster Most of these characters wanted to further the field of computer science, even the people who wrote the viruses and worms because back then they wanted to know if they could make those things. While others were a little close to the edge and personally, I think leaking a company's code is pretty lame, but that's just me. Most of these people you probably never heard of, but some of them you can never forget. I mean how can you forget Napster. It's very hard to say which ones are hackers, so I understand why the terms are so easily clashed together. First off, the people working with jailbroken mobile devices are trying to advance the mobile technology, despite the fact that they are letting the consumer pay less for the services than they should. Also, as mentioned earlier, the classical hackers helped make the field what it is, either by creating the exploits so that we could learn in so many ways or even to know how to create safer systems. Napster is a great example actually since the main issue that's going around is copyright infringement. Though it was pretty sketchy, it certainly changed both the technology field AND the entertainment field. Regardless of what they did in the past and if they served time or got sued, they are highly respected people because of how they furthered the field of technology. And for that I can't say thanks enough. So before you call someone a terrorist, first you should get your facts straight and understand the 3 terms. For a reminder: Hacker-> wants to further technology and their own knowledge Cracker-wants to create an exploit for malicious purposes Cyberterrorist-wants to cause damage or harm to another for personal gain Thank you for reading!
Big Brother is Real
According to BGR- "Comcast, Cablevision, Verizon, Time Warner Cable and other Internet service providers (ISPs) in the United States will soon launch new programs to police their networks in an effort to catch digital pirates and stop illegal file-sharing. Major ISPs announced last summer that they had agreed to take new measures in an effort to prevent subscribers from illegally downloading copyrighted material, but the specifics surrounding the imminent antipiracy measures were not made available. Now, RIAA chief executive Cary Sherman has said that ISPs are ready to begin their efforts to curtail illegal movie, music and software downloads on July 12. “Each ISP has to develop their infrastructure for automating the system,” Sherman said during a talk at the annual Association of American Publishers meeting, according to CNET. Measures will also be taken to establish databases “so they can keep track of repeat infringers, so they know that this is the first notice or the third notice. Every ISP has to do it differently depending on the architecture of its particular network. Some are nearing completion and others are a little further from completion.” Customers found to be illegally downloading copyrighted material will first receive one or two notifications from their ISPs, essentially stating that they have been caught. If the illegal downloads continue, subscribers will receive a new notice requesting acknowledgement that the notice has been received. Subsequent offenses can then result in bandwidth throttling and even service suspension. The news comes shortly after the closure of file-sharing giant Megaupload and increased pressure on other networks thought to be major hubs for the illegal distribution of copyrighted materials. Some studies show that these measures have had no impact on piracy, however, so organizations like the RIAA have been lobbying for ISPs to intervene and develop systems that will allow them to police their networks and directly address subscribers who illegally download copyrighted content." I have so much to say about this topic, but most of it would sound very subjective and unprofessional. My main concern is if this program does get passed, wouldn't it be in violation of our right to privacy and freedom of speech? It could also be in violation of our privacy because this would mean that they would be monitoring our PERSONAL networks. It's clearly a violation of our freedom of expression because this would be a form of censorship. Just because SOPA didn't get passed, that doesn't mean you have to bring our personal ISP's into it. Also, does the government plan to try to stop hackers or pirates with this move? Take into consideration that simply due to the term, if they are a combination of both, they will simply find another way to use their PERSONAL network to pirate. Stop trying to restrict an open, independent, and ungoverned ecosystem. I do know of two possible ways that they could theoretically stop piracy and hackers, but this would essentially bring down the whole internet, which would affect more than just the hackers/pirates, but the normal civilians as well. Also, I just realized something, that if this program does go through, despite the people in the government swearing to protect the Constitution, it would also be in violation of that as well because the Constitution was set up so that no man (woman) has to fear another. By monitoring our systems, you would cause civilians paranoia-fear. I completely understand the desire to govern over others, but personally, I think that this is taking it too far. Edit: here is some more information on the matter- ISP's will pass costs to consumers but consumers have no say or control in the decision. Consumers will be paying to ISP to snoop on themselves and then get harassed on any large download. Cable companies as ISP's are monopolies. Hence they act anti-consumer, the way of most monopolies. Monopolistic power corrupts absolutely. Net result (pun intended :): Bad guys encrypt and good guys suffer as false positives. Life as usual... Know your rights: 1st Protects the freedom of religion, speech, and the press, as well as the right to assemble and petition the government 2nd Protects an individual's right to bear arms 3rd Prohibits the forced quartering of soldiers out of war time 4th Prohibits unreasonable searches and seizures and sets out requirements for search warrants based on probable cause 5th Sets out rules for indictment by grand jury and eminent domain, protects the right to due process, and prohibits self-incrimination and double jeopardy 6th Protects the right to a fair and speedy public trial by jury, including the rights to be notified of the accusations, to confront the accuser, to obtain witnesses and to retain counsel 7th Provides for the right to trial by jury in certain civil cases, according to common law 8th Prohibits excessive fines and excessive bail, as well as cruel and unusual punishment 9th Asserts the existence of unenumerated rights retained by the people 10th Limits the powers of the federal government to those delegated to it by the Constitution 11th Immunity of states from suits from out-of-state citizens and foreigners not living within the state borders. Lays the foundation for sovereign immunity 12th Revises presidential election procedures 13th Abolishes slavery and involuntary servitude, except as punishment for a crime 14th Defines citizenship, contains the Privileges or Immunities Clause, the Due Process Clause, the Equal Protection Clause, and deals with post-Civil War issues 15th Prohibits the denial of suffrage based on race, color, or previous condition of servitude 16th Allows the federal government to collect income tax 17th Establishes the direct election of United States Senators by popular vote 18th Establishes Prohibition of alcohol (Repealed by Twenty-first Amendment) 19th Establishes women's suffrage 20th Fixes the dates of term commencements for Congress (January 3) and the President (January 20); known as the "lame duck amendment" 21st Repeals the Eighteenth Amendment 22nd Limits the president to two terms, or a maximum of 10 years (i.e., if a Vice President serves not more than one half of a President's term, he or she can be elected to a further two terms) 24th Prohibits the revocation of voting rights due to the non-payment of poll taxes 25th Codifies the Tyler Precedent; defines the process of presidential succession 26th Establishes the official voting age to be 18 years old. 27th Prevents laws affecting Congressional salary from taking effect until the beginning of the next session of Congress I expect someone with more power to start a petition for this... Thank you for reading!
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